I grew up in a Catholic household where my parents took religion very seriously. I was told from a young age to attend mass weekly on Sundays and to be a loyal follower of God. The more I was forced the go to the church the more I felt distant from the religion, at a younger age I was only attending mass to please my parents and not get scolded for not dedicating God one hour of my week.
One incident that I specifically remember is junior year in high school on the first week of school during the annual club rush. I noticed that a group of friends that I knew started a Holy bible talk. I wasn’t ashamed of the club being religious. But the fact that they were that invested in their faith, made it seem like that they didn’t think twice when organizing the club. When I asked them what motivated them to start the club and their answer was that they were encouraged by their Christian church which was the megachurch named “The Rock church” that is a congregational church. Thursdays’ discussion about the types of religions was that this church is considered more of a corporate than a church that had a large population of followers attracted to their church.
Now a days I try to maintain myself occupied with school and work to avoid going to church on Sundays, At some points in my life I ask myself why I still don’t feel as close to a religion as my parents or peers do about their religion? Does this have to do with the lack of experience? Although I have a surrounding community that are faithful in their religion, I have not yet connected to my family’s religion as Catholics or any other religion.
It is interesting how you bring up your attitude when it comes to daily mass and it appears that you just went because you had to and had no real want to go. I too had this similar experience (except my bible study was with adults) and attitude towards Catholicism. While I was confirmed into the religion, I did not necessarily feel glad or fulfilled to be confirmed into something I never wanted. I considered myself agnostic for some time until I was exposed to Buddhism and Taoism in my undergraduate studies. I absolutely felt that the teachings of these two religions resonated with me to a spiritual level. So to answer your question, perhaps look into other religions and visit them as a student (the best way to do this is to take Rel 125) and take what you can from them. I can confidently tell you that sometimes the religion you’re born into isn’t always the one you need.